Sobering Events
18 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Adventures at Home, Consider This, Someone Who's Been There Tags: death, eternity, testimony, witnessing
Last night my husband came home around 7:30pm and told us there was a terrible multiple-car accident about 4 miles down the highway and he had to take a 17 mile detour. The highway, which is a mile from our driveway, is infamous for the amount of accidents that happen there, mainly from deer or drunk drivers. One of my sons did mention that he had that feeling someone died/was going to die today, even before he heard about the accident. He wondered about it, because he thought you only got that when it was someone in your family. We didn’t hear from anyone we knew, so I didn’t dwell on it.
At 10:15pm my oldest son called and asked if I could come and get him in town (a 10 mile drive each way) as his shift at work was over. My daughter wanted to come with me, so we drove down the highway, but about 3 miles down the road, we found that it was closed and they were still detouring traffic from the accident. It must have been a terrible accident to take that long to clean up and investigate.
A few minutes later we got a phone call from the young man who lives next door to us. He is good friends with my 3 sons, especially my oldest son. He asked for my son and I said we were on our way to pick him up. He then explained that he was desiring a ride home as well. He was in the hospital. His grandfather (who is more like his father) was in the accident that my husband had told me about and he passed away. (a total of 8 people went to the hospital as a result of the accident). I told him we would be happy to give him a ride home.
I am deeply saddened. Partly for the family and their loss. This man was probably between 65 and 75, so not very old and not expecting to die any time soon. My son had just bought an old car from him this month and has been fixing it up and he was planning to hunt with him and his grandson this fall.
When I spoke to my family about it, I mentioned that he probably didn’t wake up that morning thinking he was going to die. I reminded them how important it is to be ready to die and to live each day as if it were our last.
UPDATE: Please pray for the family that was in the other vehicle that was hit. The father and one twin son are in serious condition and the other twin son is in critical condition. The mother and other child are much better. Also, please pray for the man who fell asleep, causing the accident. I can’t imagine what he is going through right now. I know him as a customer and he is a nice man.
A Good Wife
23 Jun 2010 1 Comment
in Adventures at Home, Feminine or Feminist?, Someone Who's Been There Tags: created to be his help meet, debi pearl, help meet, marriage
Midweek Minute – Will the Real Church Please Stand Up?
24 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in Consider This, Someone Who's Been There Tags: church, church buildings, churchianity, home church
Today I would like to share with you an article that I read yesterday. What is the Church? Is it a big, fancy building that costs its “members” sometimes millions of dollars to build and then upkeep? Does the Bible require us to be in this building every time the doors are open? Should our children be taught there in classrooms or at home by their parents? These questions and more are what I began asking myself beginning when our first child was born. My journey may not be the same as yours, but I found that I can relate to a lot of what this article is saying.
This is not a new concept for me, as the children and I have not been attending a “Church” by the standard definition for 10 years now, but I believe this article explains very clearly many of the reasons why this decision was made at that time.
Why I Don’t Go to Church Anymore
I’ll write my usual disclaimer that I may not entirely agree with everything on the BodyLife website as I have not read through all of it, but at first glance, it appears to be solid.
Dating: Practicing Divorce
14 Feb 2010 2 Comments
in Adventures at Home, Consider This, Someone Who's Been There Tags: courtship, dating, divorce, marriage, purity, sex, teenagers, teens, virginity, youth
I have been spending time with my sons in the morning before school this week to read from a book titled “Dating vs Courtship” by Paul Jehle.
I’ve waited for a long time to bring this up to my boys, and it is time. Not only because the oldest is nearly 17, but people around us are beginning to make comments and tease, boys their age will soon start asking questions… and I want them to have a meaningful reply.
This book was written in 1993, but it was simmering in Paul’s mind for two decades before that as he watched his youth group suffer the consequences of the dating scene year after year.
For almost 20 years prior to writing this book, Paul taught the wisdom of courtship and the dangers of dating, but the youth he worked with and their parents became angry or annoyed with him and the youth kept dating anyway.
Here is my synopsis of the book.
(By the way, I have not read the book “I Kissed Dating Good-bye” by Josh Harris, so I don’t know if he has the same take on this.)
satan wants our youth.
[that's not a typo. I don't capitalize his name because he doesn't deserve it]
he knows that if he can destroy them, lure them, distract them, then he will have the next generation and he will destroy their preparation for family and ultimately their families as well. In a recent previous post I talked about one way he is destroying our youth through “magic” and witchcraft. The second way is through dating.
This might sound harsh to someone who has not given this serious consideration, but in the book, Paul goes through the statistics and the Scripture to make his point very clear and non-debatable.
80-90% of teens lose their virginity and WE are to blame.
(this was back in 1993, so it may be higher now)
We have allowed the thorns to grow in the field rather than weeding while the soil is easy to work with. We have been negligent.
Paul very powerfully teaches that
The years between 13 and marriage are the preparation years.
These years should not be wasted frivolously on the pursuit of their own pleasures. They should be spent ~
- by the parent and spiritual leaders ~ teaching the critical preparation of the youth for marriage
- by the youth ~ asking “meaningful questions about the purpose of life, and their own identity” and laying foundations, being about the Father’s business.
Take a moment and think right now.
How many young people do you know who are past 13 and not married yet, who are doing these things?
For me, sadly, the answer is: only a handful.
Why is that so?
Paul gives three reasons:
- A Self-Centered Gospel
- The Destruction of the Family
- A Lukewarm Church
These are not my words, yet I keep hearing them over and over. He further explains where we have dropped the ball in each of these areas with our low expectations of teens, the lack of leadership we give them in the home and the humanistic philosophies in the Church that have brought us to this place.
Youth Groups are pinpointed as a major mistake...
Our youth lack true heroes, vision and accountability, all of which should be taught in the home and the local body of believers.
These are tough words to swallow, but I assure you they are true. I know it from my own life. Again, my parents were wise enough to lay down some rules regarding my dating and I know it saved me a lot of heartache, but I can still see the consequences of dating in our marriage.
And in the lives of my sons? I thank my dear Jesus that they have been spared the pressures of the dating scene at school and at “church”. I know they are aware of girls, but it is so refreshingly different for them than with most boys their age. Their purity of heart and thought saves them from many of the temptations that are common today.
The last point I will share has to do with the title of this post.
"At the heart of the dating process is covenant breaking."
In dating, we learn to break covenants at whim or when we feel like it.
I know this was the case for me. I did not date very many boys, but those few that I did (I think it was 3), I was the one who broke their hearts. I was always able to just make a decision, turn off my heart and end the relationship…
Except for one. And it took me 2 1/2 years to get over him.
…until I met my husband… Then I tried to turn it off, but it kept dripping =)
Dating is practice for divorce.
It’s a thought process that says if it doesn’t work out, , you can simply break it off instead of working through it. It’s commitment is shallow because it’s usually built on feeling.
The alternative?
Team Ministry.
Focus on serving God. Minister with other families and groups of believers and God will bring the right couple together. Now, that’s a beautiful picture!
He could have ended the book right there and he would have made his point…
So, I will leave you with these things to ponder.
As always, I would love your comments!
By the way, I have no idea if how I sound in these posts. I try to imagine how my readers will respond based on the way the majority of people think, but I want you all to know that my heart is full of love and concern and that is where I am coming from. I am simply sharing things that are dear to my heart, things that I have discovered along the way and I am sharing them here because I am passionate about them.
Our Presentation to the World: What Are We Advertising?
07 Feb 2010 9 Comments
in Consider This, Feminine or Feminist?, Someone Who's Been There Tags: dressing modestly, modest apparel, modest clothing, modest dress, modesty, wearing modest clothing
I have been so blessed by reading posts from some of the other Christian women’s blogs. I hope all of you have been browsing as well. I know, I need to update my list (see Kindred Minds) because I have discovered some new ones to add…
As I was reading through some of these blogs, I came across some articles regarding modesty, which reminded me of the time when I first began to consider the way I presented myself to the world. I don’t remember the year, but I do remember the time period in my life ~ it was in the late 1990s after our household first got on the internet, probably around 1997.
I don’t know which came first, but the two strongest influences in regard to my decision were a magazine from the wife of the man who was our pastor at the time. The magazine, which I cannot remember by name, had articles discussing modesty, gardening and doctrines, some of which I had never considered for myself, but God was working in my heart to make me open-minded and teachable, so I began to study my Bible and research on the internet to see what He had to teach me. That is most likely when I ran across the article on modesty. I have included a link below to the pdf for those who want to download and read it. Again, please read with discernment. I do believe the author of the article had good intentions, but I do not necessarily agree with everything he says nor do I think that Bathsheba necessarily sinned. I don’t believe we know enough about the surrounding circumstances to know if she sinned or not. However, please don’t close your mind to what he says because of the way he says it. =)
This article is written from a man’s point of view and he does not mince words, but it certainly hit home with me. After reading it, I got out every outfit I had and tried it on in front of our full length mirror and bent over in every position possible to determine if it was modest. Did it hang open when I bent to the front? Was it tight in the back or did it creep up too short when bending over? Was it tight or short when I sat down? I certainly do not want to be the cause of one of my sons or any other man to struggle with more lust than they already have to face in our day.
There is a wonderful list of questions that we can ask ourselves about our outfit after we try it on, which you can download here. This was written by some young ladies who desire to dress modestly. Add some of your own to the list!
I also discovered another blog that discusses modesty and they offer a modesty e-book, which must be requested. Here is a link to the page. to request the Modesty Handbook.
On a side note: I do realize that modesty is cultural to some extent, but just because it is modest in Africa to not wear a bra and bare your breast when you feed your baby, it does not mean that the men in America who are bombarded daily with suggestive ads and scantilly clad women (who have been trained by our culture to allure men and who most often have ulterior motives) have the same mentality as the men in Africa who have grown up sheltered from our culture and around the women who do NOT dress that way to draw a man’s attention. There is a difference. Modesty is not just what you wear, but an attitude and motive of the heart. Drawing too much attention to yourself or carrying yourself in a seductive manner, can be immodest too.
That said, I also believe there is a set standard of modesty that comes from God’s word which is regardless of any culture. The Bible clearly states that a woman and a man are to be distinct, so a woman should not dress like a man. Scripture also states that a woman should not be showy. And the final standard is that a woman should not cause a man to lust by the way she dresses. So, do we walk right next to the edge of the cliff? Or stay as far from the edge as possible? Personally, I do not want to be responsible for causing even the most sensitive man to stumble.
When I opened my eyes to my own way of dressing, I had to admit that some of the clothing I wore was for men. A part of me liked men to look at me, and that is what our culture teaches.
I can remember when it began for me. It was in Junior High and my heart was drifting away from the Lord in many ways. We had just moved to a new area and I can remember compromising in several things trying to fit in with the youth at our new place of fellowship. It was at that time that I began to wear the shortest skirts I could get away with (which were not very short at all, thankfully, due to my godly parents who set limits on me) and wearing nylons with high heels to show off my legs. My nickname with some of the young men in the youth group was “legs” and even though that was as far as it went, that appealed to my flesh. By all outward appearance I looked like everyone else (which wasn’t necessarily good) and acted like a nice, Christian girl… but in my own heart I knew the rebellion and flirting with wickedness that was going on. I am so thankful that the Lord led my parents to move again before any serious damage was done. Shortly after that God began doing a major work in my heart.
This desire to appeal to men creeps in everywhere, sadly, even among those in the Church. A short time ago, we worshiped with a small group of believers where some of the women’s dress was immodest. Our boys would be fine all week and then every Sunday they would have to avert their eyes because of the way the women were dressing. This is the case in many of the places we have gone to fellowship over the past 10 years and it is a travesty. Of all times and places, a man should be able to fellowship with other believers and not have to worry about how the women are dressed.
Although it is natural for a woman to desire for a man to look at her, wearing clothing that allures a man should be reserved for just ONE man, namely, her husband. We need to continually check our hearts and be completely honest with ourselves to see what our true inner motives are.
Our clothing identifies us. Those who wear all black are identified as Goth’s. Those who wear “Plain” Clothing are identified as Amish. Those who wear harlot clothing are identified as harlots or “easy”. Those who wear business suits are identified as professional… etc. Those who have odd piercings and strange hair color or hair cuts are letting the world know that they need to be loved. What does your clothing identify you as?
I will leave you with one final question and then hope that this post will get a lot of feedback and comments =). I know there are quite a few people reading this blog, so please comment so that you can encourage others who are reading! To comment, click on the little quotation looking thingy in the upper right hand corner of this post and let us know what you think. Do you agree? Disagree? Have something to add?
Here is the final question:
What are we advertising when we wear our clothing?
- we can advertise our womanly body to men by wearing tight, revealing or alluring clothes
- we can advertise our SELF or our beauty to everyone by wearing too much makeup or loud, gawdy and showy clothing or jewelry, wearing piercings in strange places, tattooing or getting unusual hair styles or colors
- we can advertise our money to others by wearing expensive clothing, diamonds, gold and jewels
- we can advertise that we are a child of God to the world by dressing modestly
- we can advertise that we love being a woman by dressing in feminine clothing
- we can advertise that we don’t value who God made us to be, by wearing frumpy, dirty clothing or having an unkempt appearance
Ladies, what we choose to wear sends a very POWERFUL message. As godly women, we need to be very careful not only to send the right message, but also not to send the wrong message! Let’s be considerate of the men in our lives and the Holy God whom we represent as we present ourselves to the world.
Post Preview
06 Feb 2010 Leave a Comment
in Consider This, Feminine or Feminist?, Someone Who's Been There Tags: a christian and modesty, dressing modestly, modest women, modesty
I will be writing on the subject of modesty for today’s Christian woman in the next couple of days. I wanted to let you all know so that you can begin thinking about this and hopefully have some thoughts and comments to share. =)
Entertainment
03 Feb 2010 1 Comment
in Consider This, Someone Who's Been There Tags: dvd, entertainment, movies, netflix, redeeming the time
I was thinking…
Entertainment in our day and especially in our country is such a huge thing. Really, many people think of it as a necessity. Everyone wants to be entertained, whether it is a movie, choice of music, sports, the type of books we read, what we watch on television, even what we eat…
When I talk to my children about this, I tell them it is like eating candy. When we read only for entertainment, it is like eating candy all the time. This can apply to all of the examples above. It is unhealthy.
This is definitely one of my personal pet peeves, but does that make it wrong?
The other night I skimmed one of the books that is on my list titled “Hollywood World Views“. While I don’t agree with everything the author says, he does have a lot of good points, and it is worth reading if you have a discerning mind while you read it. The basic premise of the book is that Hollywood DOES have an agenda, any movie maker has an agenda, and you need to watch with that in mind.
But that is only one aspect of entertainment. Books have agendas, so do blogs, music, television… so what should we do about it?
As a Christian, I believe all of my standards should be based on what God has to say. So, what does the Bible have to say about entertainment?
But before we answer that, what is the definition of entertainment: the action of providing or being provided with amusement or enjoyment
Is amusement and enjoyment wrong?
No, but is that the only question to ask?
As a true follower of Christ, when we first give our heart and life to Him, why does He leave us here on this earth rather than taking us home to be with Him?
- It is not to glorify Him, because we could do that better in heaven.
- It is not to know Him, because it would be so much easier if we were in heaven too.
- It is not for our spiritual benefit, because all heavenly benefits would outweigh any slight spiritual benefits we could gain on earth
My personal opinion, and that’s all this is, so please sisters, check your Bible to see if this measures up, is that we have been left on this earth for one reason only:
For everyone else.
We are to be a unique message to the world of God the Savior and His love and plan for Salvation.
Our message should be loud and clear by the way we present ourselves, the way we appear, the things we do, the things we don’t do, what we think about, and what we say. We should be distinct from every “religion” out there because our lives reflect a TRUE difference, not just one day a week. And a true peace, which does not come from man’s religions. I think you all know what I mean, but if you have questions, feel free to ask.
So here are some Scriptures that speak to principles for guiding us in our entertainment choices:
- Philippians 4:8 is such a great reminder on what to think on… things that are lovely, of good report, true, honest, just, virtuous…
- Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:16 where he says to “redeem the time because the days are evil”.
- There are many verses speaking about not being idle
Wow, I am talking to myself here.
Are we redeeming the time?
Or wasting it?
Frittering away the hours with being entertained or doing things that will count for eternity?
***************************************
I made here a list of a few activities in my day and put them under three columns:
Need to Be Done
Sleep
Eat
Oversee the Household ~ cleaning, meal preparation, attitudes
Schooling
Care for the Animals
Entertainment
Play instruments
Listen to music
Fun but useless games
Educational games
Reading novels
Netflix
educational movies
Eternal Value
train my children
read my letter from God
Talk to God
listen to praise music
sing praise music
Minister to neighbors
Gather with Believers
This Blog (that is my intention)
Encourage Other Believers
Read books that will help me grow spiritually
**********************************************
I need to ask myself which category my crafts fall into? I guess that depends on what I do with the finished item, how much time it takes me away from more important things and how much money I spend on it.
Or what about my home business? That would largely depend on my motives for having it in the first place, and again, how much time and money I invest there.
So, I will be thinking on these things.
I would love feedback from all of you!
I don’t know how many people are reading this blog unless you comment. Not only does it encourage me, but others as well.
Also, once I have a large enough readership, I have had offers from some of my sponsors to have some giveaways… that should be fun!
Don’t forget to sign up to have this delivered to your inbox. The link is on the top right!
A Call to a Deeper Walk
06 Jan 2010 1 Comment
in Adventures at Home, Someone Who's Been There Tags: a w tozer, half-christians, kp yohannan, missions, revolution in world missions, the road to reality, worldly christians
I have been very encouraged by reading some of the blogs listed on my Kindred Minds page. It is so beautiful to see these women, some just beginning their married lives or with young children, who love Jesus so and listen to His voice.
I love the way God woos us. Quietly stirring desires in our hearts through His Holy Spirit. Leading us to places that will draw us closer to Him. Bringing people into our lives that challenge what we think and how we behave. I love that. My constant desire is to be ever changing into more of what He wants me to be so that even one year from now I am very different from who I am right now. I want to be like Jesus.
My son, Biologist and I were just having a discussion about missionaries and those who call themselves Christians in our day and it led to more discussion on worldliness and how it has creeped into Christianity. Often it is difficult to distinguish a Christian from those who are “good, moral people” in the world. In some cases, we aren’t different than those who are not good and moral! We Christians don’t look any different, we don’t talk any different, we go to all the same places, we read the same books, watch the same movies, we think like the world, we spend our money on the same meaningless frivolities, we spend our time in the same empty activities…
Some of the books that really opened my eyes to this are by KP Yohannan.
The Road To Reality: COMING TO JESUS FROM AN UNREAL WORLD
And then Revolution In World Missions
I’ve included the links so that you can purchase both of these books at Amazon.
I want to constantly be on the look out for areas in my life where I am worldly and dig them out with a sharp knife, root and all. I know in order to do this I need to get closer and closer to Jesus and let His light shine in all the dark corners and reveal the things that do not show up so easily. Reading His love letter and His Story and talking to Him about everything is absolutely necessary. But I also have to have a teachable heart, an open mind and a willingness to deny myself. A willingness to step out of the box and look at things with new eyes. I pray that He will give me the strength and the desire to do all of these things.
Challenging Times
05 Jan 2010 2 Comments
in Ladies in Waiting, Someone Who's Been There
I know someone who needs prayer. This is a real person and I will tell her story in a parable. I will call her L for the sake of anonymity.
L is married to a man who is a slave to a very demanding slave owner. This owner sometimes requires many late nights and recently even demanded an overnight shift. In the past the slave owner has taken so much out of her husband that he comes home and sleeps just to get up and go serve the slave owner again the next day. The owner is continually asking for more of him, no matter how much he gives. He is never happy with the time he gets.
Her husband sometimes wants to be released from this slave owner, but it is extremely difficult. This slave owner has so much power over him that L’s husband is often under the slave owners influence even when he is at home. When he has tried leaving on occasion, he is almost always caught when he goes anywhere near where the slave owner or the slave owners’ friends linger. Sometimes when he is caught, they will keep him away from home for hours and L doesn’t even know where he is. She imagines that the slave owner has killed him or that he has taken so much out of her husband that he has passed out somewhere.
The children of L and this slave of course are greatly affected by their father’s slavery. Not only because of the time demands, but often the slave owner will take their fathers money and force him to spend it on things that interest the slave owner rather than L’s family. At times their father comes home acting like the slave owner because they have been together so much. When the slave owner is especially demanding, their father is miserable and unpleasant. They see the wickedness of the slave owner, but being children, they don’t know what to do about it. Sometimes they become confused and wonder why there isn’t some way their father can just leave the slave owner and spend more time with them.
This slave owner is very sneaky. When he is first looking for slaves, he dresses up as an innocent old man and plays on their emotions, so they go with him. Then suddenly they realize they have been trapped and it’s too late… or at least he tries to make them think so.
Please pray that L will be strengthened by God to fight for her husband. Please pray that her husband can find the Way to be released from the power of this slave owner. Please pray that their children will not become bitter about their situation. Please pray that their children are protected from the slave owner and that he is unable to deceive them.
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